Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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