I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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