absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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