I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
