Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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