WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
