My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
