Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
