just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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