i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am mentally ready for anal.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
