Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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