When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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