dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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