I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
