so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
