No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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