did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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