He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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