I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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