STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
