Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
