I accidentally had phone sex last night
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize