nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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