it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
