Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
