I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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