Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
