I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
