Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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