i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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