New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
