Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
