I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
