Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
