i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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