I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
