Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
