Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
