dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
