I want to stick my p in your. b.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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