Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
