if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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