I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize