He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
