She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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