I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
