Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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