please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
