I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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