I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
