im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
