I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
