I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
