I must be too annoying 4 u.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
