margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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