he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
