My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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