Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
