There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just want nice things and good sex
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
