Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
