Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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