we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
