So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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