YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We need to get me chipped asap
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
