just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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