went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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