I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
